Kingfishers and WoodPeckers with smartphones

This post is not at all about the bird but about an incident.

It is a funny thing how our parents whom we always perceive to know everything can be ignorant about certain things. For instance, smartphones. My dad sets up alarm on two phones as 1. clock alarms are outdated 2. we have an habit of going back to sleep after the time the alarm goes off. Trust me it is a bliss to get that 5 - 15 min of sleep and worth the haste in which we need to get ready to leave the house for the day.

So coming back to the 2 phones my dad sets alarms on. One is his Nokia phone. well it is a qwerty keyboard and can take in a memory card. But his kids i.e. we flicked it. His only criteria was that the font should be large enough for him to see even without his glasses. The second phone under consideration is my mom's - because I dont stay at home and my bro is too secretive about his phone. That is an issue all together. Will come back to it one day.

Moms are better to adapt themselves to the smart phones than dads. This is a general trend that I have seen. Even though they have been exposed to computers more than moms of the previous generation, still they seem to struggle with the smartphones. I got mom, a smartphone Samsung Galaxy series and Trust me I was apprehensive how she was going to manage navigating into various menus. Within one month, she was hooked on to temple run and next year she was demanding a tab. And currently, you would find her sending candy crush invites to everyone on her list. Her awareness of family members has reached a totally different level, thanks to FB. I hear the same from my room mate about their mother too.

Ok, finally with this background, we come back to the alarm. So in the morning, Dad's Nokia alarms. Dad without even bating his closed eyelid, snooze it with a precision that would put bomb diffuser into shame. He goes into his slumber. He just starts to shift between Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM) Sleep and Rapid Eye Movement (REM) Sleep that the second alarm goes. He jerks to wake up just as if he was a robber and he tripped an alarm. Close enough :P Well Samsung Galaxy doesnt have the luxury of straight snooze. He has to open the menu by "swipe"ing across the screen. Now this is the nightmare of a task for him.

He tries to swipe as if something was stuck to the screen but no how can a smartphone be so simple. It doesnt budge. Well dad wants to go back and get few more mins of sleep before mom physically comes to wake him up. ( I still havent got it, then why even have the alarm in the first place. Dad thinks that is a back up in case mom forgets to wake up ) And the alarm is coming in the way of doing exactly that. He gets frustrated and starts pecking the phone like a woodpecker. Hahha this is the most hilarious scene. One day, me and my bro are planning to shoot this, which mean i would have to get up early. That is the precise reason I dont have the video yet. :) Ciao.

The Ring

So the birdie continued about the changes after her married life ....

This was about the time I joined work back and everyone was happy to see me. But they were asking me
- How are you?
- How have you been?
- Where are the pics?

The stunning of them all was - So how is your husband?

Realization: oh damm I am married!!!!

Then I look at my hand.... to confirm

Yeh kab hua???

So It was a good idea that my fiancé engraved our names on our rings....

Oh i am married !!! Happy realization.. or to say so!!!

Yeh kya hua

So i was asking my little birdie how has the marriage changed her. Well we all want to know what we might be headed towards.

Well I will go reverse chronology with the recent major changes :)

Before

Wake up in the morning, chill around !!! a huge chunk of time goes in standing infront of the cupboard to decide what to wear. 

Well I just had 2 simple problems 

- nothing to wear 

- where to store all my clothes

After

These days I dont chill around

Well i do open a door and stand before it for major chunk of time

well that is the door of a refrigerator

Aaj kya banaoon????

Papa on phone

For once I will not talk about Amy. There was this girl lets call her Kitty, as its about her smitten kitten story. :D

This little darling had a realization one day that she is falling for this friend of hers. They were friends for over 6 years then and had this cute chemistry. Kitty had her reasons to fall for him - she felts its high time she settled. She let the little tension build up - the tension of love. Trust me tensions are not built up holding one end. It has equal and opp reaction. There was always residual affection from otherside which she didnt allow till now.

 No need to mention all the initial phase was all hunky dory. Rather more than hunky dory. It was heavenly like the sweetest of food to freshest of smell to rhythmest of music. People didnt matter, aspirations didnt matter, nothing ever mattered. Kitty forgot to keep her foot in the earth. She was flying - may be this was called love is in the air.

Staying alone for a while made her not only independent but somewhere these kids tends to loose the hang on reality or on social norms. Kitty thought he was the reason and way forward. Both professional and personally. It is the logical step ahead, she thought so atleast. She can go onsite and then more exposure. She can also be closer to him. She had a master plan. Well she didnt think of it, the hairy guy from office had gone onsite stating reason that his fiance stays in the US.

Kitty had borrowed money from her mom and wanted to return the same as she got refund from tax. Her father told her to put an FD in the mom's name. Kitty was rushing for the call with her Boss but thought she can just about squeeze a call to dad to inform about the FD. She hurried to dial her Boss's number. They had a great conversation about her career and how she wants to move to the US because of her "Fiance" All the happy talks from boss ended, not even before he stopped congratulating but when she got a msg from Dad "What the hell is happening?"

It took Kitty a while to figure out what was her father referring to. Well the call with dad via cell phone was not cut and she got on to the call with her manager using the office VOIP. Oops Dad heard it all, as he was driving and had put his phone on speaker & didnt bother to cut the call.

All the pleasantness from her life just seemed to fade away. Well she was sure there was an earthquake!!! She just about avoided fumbling to her manager and completed the call in a hurry. Confided about this incident to the best friend. They did cook up a story to handle the infuriated Dad. Well no one deserves to know the love story like this. :) Not the parents atleast.

Then it got sorted out on its own because of pair's heart break. Well the positive side is atleast Kitty didnt have to explain the real story but a cooked up one - that she was asking only for onsite and thats the only way they tend to send her onsite. Phew!!! God Bless the lovers

Go Going Goa

Amy has never been a big party animal. Goa at this time of the year - the actual season of year end ... is not her idea of vacation or even spending money. But Megu was getting married and its good enough a reason to go against all the ideologies she had.

Amy, Megu, Shl, Gaurav and Saloni had been to Kolhad Kundalika River Rafting, during which Shl and Megu became good friends - To an extent that Shl self invited himself for the wedding. But then due to some personal reasons he had to back out. None of the GOGS (Gang of girls - that amy and megu were a part of ) were not going to come. Going alone that too to such a happening place was a disaster.

Come thursday: Amy, Rich and Ati were taking a walk. I just happened to put senti and guess what I got a bakra to come with me to Goa. Booked tickets for that night. Amy checked her calendar, that had calls till 12. The train was booked at 12 55 in the night. Left office at 9 30 pm, reached home 5 mins late for the call at 10 30. Further just to get to know that the lady on the other side has kept a call the following day.
None of these are sinking in for Amy as the only objective was she was going to Goa.

Amy starts packing. Goa being synonymous to LA – you cant be taking usual clothing. Need to take care of the heat, the cold, the fashion, the comfort and the space. And in this special case time as she had the next call starting in half an hour. Again late for this call. So much for professionalism she keeps professing.

This call goes on for ages. Any minute after 12 was an age in entirety as it increased the chance of her plan to go flop exponentially. The call ends at 12 15 and the stakeholder asks Amy to stay online for further discussion. She now panics and tries to finish packing when she was on phone.

Rush to the station and the rick driver was not able to understand her anxiety. He was just worried about potholes that his auto might have to hit if he sped up. To top it he dropped her on the other side of the platform. Well she was at platform no 1 and the train at 5. She had less than 10 mins and 3 bags to cover half the length of the train from platform 1 and rest from platform no 5. Well she had enough brains to know if reaches platform no 5, its enough for her, she can just get into the train and walk later. However uncomfortable it is.

Well she reached on time to avoid typical DDLJ stunts. Well a 3 day long vacation would mean too many misadventures – let me just list them down.

-          Forgot the blanket. Shivered through out the night. Ati wakes her up to show her the mist. “Baaahhh let me sleep” was the reply “Thakheli”

-          Come next day they don’t have a place to stay. Megu herself was coming to Goa in the night. If they don’t have a place, then this day would go for a waste as they cant roam around without freshening up. Pommy to the rescue. Amy has history of calling Pommy only when she has to go to Goa. She doesn’t even have the decency to store either numbers.

-          Ati got shouted at for not having her share of decency to let the Resort Owner know they ll not be coming

One thing good about them was they didn’t have a plan. They expected next few days just to be fluid squeezing all they can. Both of them watched "Life Ok!" and some K serials. For heaven sake you are in GOA

Dumped the bag, freshened up and went to eat.  Then think of plans. In Goa, you need not be worried. You just need to bargain. Rest - routes, places, things to do all comes in big sizes of indian advices. Some how they landed up going to places Amy had been to already. Walk Inn, Panjim Church, Dona Paula ( well reached beyond sunset ) and back in time for the call. Bus journey was fun just because Ati was so page 3.
 The disastrous shack dinner at Laxmi. I am sure Amy would have said the name itself sounds so non glamorous for Goan Standard. To over come we had to go to St Anthony's. Good crowd and nice music. 

Next day each one of them were snoozing the alarm to delay getting up. Finally Amy made Ati go and get activa. Both of them didnt have license. The activa owner made Ati swear on mother that they had license. Both of them minus the PAN Card, there was no assurance that they would be back in one piece. They covered Anjuna, Vagator, Chapora Fort, Calangute, Candolim, Aguara Jail, Fort Aguara, Sinquerim. Food!!! Amy so wanted to Hogg!!! but somehow she was loosing appetite - may be to fit into the clothes she got.

Best investment was the map they bought for 30 bucks.

Headed towards Panjim to further go to Old Goa. They were terrified to ride in the NH 17 and the bridge over River Mandovi.  Some blind courage was taking them somewhere.There were stupidity like stopping on the right hand side for directions or overtaking from left. Missing speed breakers, mis judging the folks who crossed the road.

When they reached Bom Jesus Church, the decided to go to Mangeshi and Sankaracharya Balaji Temple.
Frankly Amy didnt want to go to temples in Goa. She wanted to cover the Chapels, Churches, Forts, Beaches and everything that she could have. The love of Architecture got over the love of god ( in her religion) She had missed Fort TereKhol for covering the churches and the museum. But by the time they came back from temples, they could only hurry into Bom Jesus Church. The Art gallery was closed. The other church was also closed. 

This was probably the time they realized the priorities were different and this was not discussed. Sullen faces and silences followed. It was late to ride back. It was there that Amy and Ati were not confident to ride but also the fact that in Goa most of the folks on road seemed to drunk n high ( nothing against the natives but other who come for partying ) It was last time's Anjuna incident talking for Amy i guess. All the folks could see was firangs and they were guiding them well enough. They found it spooky - well out of the comfort zone. Ati suggested they by pass the city Panaji. They didnt have license nor a helmet. Well Amy confessed she felt they shouldnt be riding. It was not only dangerous for them but also the others in the vicinity. Ati knew a  shortcut. Take the ferry and it will by pass the city for you. Amy was doubtful with her gut feel in geography. Ati reassured if they ferry was available. When they passed the cutting which leads to ferry, it was just leaving. 
Amy asked the person near by "How much does the guy charge"
"Its free"
No further questions asked, they just landed up. Once the ferry reached, they were about to get out, thats when Amy asked the way for Baga/Calangute. The guys were pointing out in the opposite direction.

I need to congratulate Amy for holding her urge to shout. hahha :) She someone got hold of her and all her earlier grumpiness. They took the ferry back. The ferryman was also frust with them.

It was relief they reached!!! Next needs come into place.. need to be clean,hunger and then party. Ati had come only for partying and Amy wanted to give her this day for the marriage of Megu tomo. But they woke up late. Got ready, returned the bike, checked out of Palmil. They were really late for the wedding. 

Well they traveled by all means of transport in Goa - Train, Bus, Taxi, auto, Pilot, Bike, Ferry!!! Amy was happy about it. 

Reached at about 12 30ish. Took less than 15 mins to get ready and as the prev 3 days.. she didnt have a comb. ( Found a new nickname for Amy - the Medusa!!! ) Megu pointed out that they didnt come for her function the day before.  Ati had given her 15 mins to go and catch up with Megu, give  her the gift and leave by 1. Had lunch and left at 1 30. Reached Ponda at 2ish. The train was at 3. The auto driver was telling - it would take an hour to reach Madgaon by bus and then 20 mins further to reach the station. Amy was reminded of the onward journey to Goa. They reached exactly at 3. But the train was half an hour late.

The train journey was another adventure in itself. No fan. They got a guy to repair the fan but he only repaired on of the 3. Why?? No answer. Lot of cockroaches. Amy spend first couple of hours physically killing them. Yewww!!! The adventure was not just because of these but Ati "The Page 3" in second class. Phew!!! Amy seems more patient to things - thanks to Ati. ;)

Bhuke Birds

U have heard of angry birds but bhuke birds.. well the story goes like this.

Amy had been to delhi with couple of colleagues. On the way the mumbaikar asks the delhite, "Waah itna bada cricket ground??"

"Abbe oh.. yeh cricket ground nahi hai. Yeh khet hai!!!"

Till they reached Delhi station mumbaikar was being teased without limits. Amy was happy, for once she was spared. 

"Dekho dekho yeh gaai hai"
"Dekho dekho yeh tubewell hai"

"Dekho dekho yeh common indian villager hai"



It was decided hence that we would take time off to see a village. It ll help ease various misconceptions in the minds of these firangs. :P After they were done with the marathon and the slumber that followed, Delhite's folks took Amy and the mumbaikar to the gaon.

Aunty Ji said the typical bollywood dialogue "Beta, Jahan tak tumhari nazar jaati hai wahan tak humari khet hai"

In one of the hazaar khet that was closer to the road we could see tubewell, so the destination was decided. If that was not the real reason, the marathon stress was :P Cauliflower was grown there and Amy got a freshest of fresh califlower and the localite commented "Tujhe Phool toh bade mile hone par yeh le cauliflower". Well does Amy need a reason to blush :)

To change the topic she pointed out to the mumbaikar whether he spotted the stork that was sitting among the plants. Aunty interjected saying "Yeh Bhuke hain"
Amy, the no so expert started explaining to the mumbaikar "Haan, is khet mein baiththe hain toh bhuke honge. Cauliflower khate honge"
Aunty was like thinking why would someone eat cauliflower sitting in the farm.
Mumbaikar to the rescue, he was the only one who understood what exactly happened. He says to Amy "Abbe Aunty is talking about bouquet not bhuke. The cauliflower to be the bouquet in this occasion"

He then turns to aunty explaning the whole thing, "We were talking about the stork. She thinks these are hungry for the cauliflowers. There are too many sitting in the area and she established a rule that they are here because there are so many cauliflowers"

I guess its to do with Amy's vegetarian instincts!!! Over all she just goofed up once more.

Paww

Sounds like a cute little cuddling animal. Amy's close friends in my workplace call Amy "Paww". Well it has a story. It always has a story. else its not worth narrating!!!



Amy was to meet a friend from Internship. Apparently he is Amey's childhood friend. Also my roommate was his childhood friend , they were staying in the same building or colony or something. What a close world.With all these connections, there was a need to close the loop. To do so all they required a common meet up. Amy invited Anand, Amey and another friend from Internship DeeD. The idea was to meet in RainForest RCity mall Ghatkopar.


Amy woke up and missed her breakfast to rush to the place. She was directing Anand how to reach even though he is a localite.:P Well I would personally vouch for localites of Mumbai for not knowing Mumbai enough. Just as she finished the call with Anand. Amy's mom called her and she was doing her daily ritual when a small kid of 10 - 12 years old was eve teasing Amy. Had I been there personally to witness this I would have burst out laughing. Kid you need to set your preferences right. 

Added to the woe of bursting out laughing - I almost got stomach cramps and Amy is trying to shoo the kid away. Why? Her mom asked her who is in the background. Also that a small kid like him is doing something wrong for his age. So mademoiselle loses it and all she can think of is to hit the kid. The boiling Teacher instincts? Scary man!!! Cuts the call with her mother. And gives gaali to the kid. Amy is not capable of Hi Fi gaali.In the meanwhile Amey calls up to enquire where she was. She picks up the call and just as she mutters "Hi!!!" the kid comes back. She couldnt find anything, she hits him with the phone( Had it been Nokia the impact would have been considerable.) - shouting "Police ko bulaoongi". Rest of the shouting is not relevant to the story.


Now from side of Amey:


'I know i was late. She has all the reason to be angry but this is no reason to call police. Weird female.'

Tap the call gets cut. Few minutes later Amy calls Amey to apologise but he doesnt pick up the call. She doesnt think too much but walks ahead. She meets up with Anand.


You need not be a rocket scientist to guess what the topic of discussion for the whole day was. Well "Entertainer of the day" award goes to ... i dont want any piece of that wrath. So she gets rechristened into "Paw" because of her apparent south indian accent, she says "Pawlice"